Monthly Archives: March 2013

I survived my first 5k!

Last night, I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to do my 5k.  My husband told me that he had to work.  I was planning on him watching our boys for me while I ran.  After much scrambling and some tears on my part (never thought I’d cry about NOT being able to run), we figured out a plan, but that meant my finish line cheering squad wasn’t there. Of course this gave me the chance to start to doubt whether I should be doing it at all.  But I got up this morning and headed out.  It wasn’t like I had planned. It was just me and some of my running buddy’s family.

I wasn’t nearly as nervous as I thought I would be.  I was excited to put on my bib and line up. 


I started out the strongest I have so far since I started running about 4 weeks ago.  I was able to run/job for almost the whole first mile without stopping to walk.  I had made it almost to the first mile when people started passing me heading back. 

It was nice to hear the encouragement from the runners who were heading back.  It made me want to keep moving.  At times I was jogging so slow there were people walking faster than I was “running.” 

I struggled today.  Every time we have run so far, it has been cold, this morning it was about 50 degrees and sunny.  About a half mile in I wished I had left my sweatshirt at the start line.  I usually try to run telephone poles, but today those poles seemed so far apart.  If it hadn’t been for the motivation of the other runners along the way, I might have just given up and walked the whole thing. 

About a quarter mile from the turn around point, I heard my running buddy (she’s been like my running trainer, she was crazy today, running the 5k with a 25 pound sand bag on her shoulders), yelling, “Come on Beth!  You can do it!  Let’s go!”  At that point I was struggling pretty bad.  It felt like I would never make it to the half way point.  With her encouragement I started running again and managed to run to about the turn around. 

The way back seemed so much shorter.  I had a woman in front of me who was speed walking.  She would pass me when I was walking, then I would pass her when I was jogging.  It kept me moving.  If she started to get too far ahead of me, I would start to jog again and get a ways ahead of her.  This motivated me until I neared the end of the race, and my buddy met me to finish the race with me.

Her mom, her aunt and her daughter all cheered for me as they came into view.  I can’t express how much it meant to me that they were there cheering for me.  I had so badly wanted my hubby and my boys there, and I know that her family didn’t come for me, but they hung around until I finished.  I am so thankful to them for that.

After the race I checked my voicemail and had 2 messages.  One from my mother in law, the other from my father in law.  They both told me how proud they were and had wished me luck.  It really meant a lot to know they were with me in spirit.

While I didn’t finish first, in fact I was pretty close to last, I did it!  I did it for myself and by myself!  My time was a long 48:46.  Not fast by any means, but it was better than where I was a few months ago.


Next week, I’m doing another 5k, and my goal is to shave at least a minute off that time.  I know I can do it, and this time, my boys will be at the finish line to cheer me on.  They are, after all, the reason I want to get healthy in the first place.


Posted by on March 31, 2013 in Uncategorized


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Trying Not to Think About it

Tomorrow is my first ever 5k!  I never imagined it would be something I would do, but it is a goal I made for myself when I started trying to lose weight.  Eventually I want to be able to run the entire thing, my plan for tomorrow is to finish without stopping.  I’m going to stick to what I’ve been doing on my Sunday runs, and go one telephone at a time.  I run 5 walk 2.  And I use the term run, very loosely (sometimes is a walk in running position).

Last week, when I knew we were going to run 3.1 miles, I drove myself crazy thinking about it, and trying to tell myself that I couldn’t do it.  At this point, I know I can, and so I’m trying not to think about it.

I want to keep myself busy.  This morning I did an early zumba (since my hubby has to work late and we have no one to watch the boys, I had to go, or I would have driven myself crazy), this afternoon I plan to play, play play.

I’m sure when I wake up in the morning I’ll be super nervous.  I don’t know why, I’m not running to win.  I know I can do it, but there is still that doubt in the back of my mind.  I am strong, I am capable and I know when I get to the finish line, which I will, no matter how long it takes me, by boys (all 3 of them; hubby and kids) will be there waiting for me. I can do this!


Posted by on March 29, 2013 in Uncategorized


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You have to eat!

One of my friends asked me about what I often eat on my diet.  One of my favorite parts about Weight Watchers is I can eat pretty much anything I want, I just have to be honest about it.  That being said, I have found that when I use my points for healthy options, I tend to lose more than if I use them to go HOG wild!

So here are some of the choices I make on a daily basis:

I generally start my day with either cereal, whole wheat toast or a light English muffin.  For cereal, I do one serving of whatever I’m having, for example Kix is 1 1/4 cup for a serving (3 points), Corn Chex is 1 cup (3 points, with this I add a teaspoon of sugar which is no points), Cheerios is 1 cup (2 points).  You get the point…  I have my cereal with a half a cup of fat free milk.

On the days I have an English muffin or toast, I usually do that with a tablespoon of light butter and a tablespoon of peanut butter or a tablespoon of strawberry jam (depending on how many points I want to use.  Peanut butter is 3 and jam is 1.  I tend to do pb on days I work out).

Depending on the amount of time I have, I’ll so egg whites with skim American cheese and some Mrs. Dash seasoning (seasoning is key or there’s not much taste at all).  This gives me lots of protein for very few points.  5 egg whites is 2 points (3 is 1) and the skim cheese is 1 for 2 slices, and Mrs. Dash is free!

Generally lunch is a sandwich of some kind.  I’m a big tuna fan and it is really low in points.  It has to be chuck tuna in water though.  Anything else I find a bit icky.  I’ll usually add some celery, onion, garlic power and paprika and 2 tablespoons of Miracle Whip (this is to a whole 4 oz can).  Depending on my points for the day I’ll either have it on whole wheat toast, a light English muffin or on saltines.  I’ll top it with some Skim American cheese and pickles (no points for dill!) and it is so good! 

Other days I’ll do a turkey sub with lots of veggies and mustard (mustard is no points!), or a green salad with cukes, green peppers, tomato, celery and deli meat, topped with some light dressing.  On my not so healthy days I’ll shovel some cup of noodles.  Not good for me at all, but so yummy and so easy!

For eating fast food options, I’ll so a salad or at Wendy’s I love their chilli and it’s only 7 points for a large (without crackers).

Dinner is pretty standard.  Steak (lean cuts), chicken breast (no skin), pork loin or boneless chops, whole wheat pasta (save a point per serving vs regular pasta), and lean ground beef.  For dinner, it’s all about the portion size.  Those kinds of foods are my weakness.  I could eat steak all day long and keep eating because I love it so much!  I have to make sure I put the proper serving on my plate.  If I have more, I will eat more. 

With dinner, we often have some sort of rice or pasta.  I don’t go super healthy with this, because my hubby won’t eat it.  The other thing I try to do is have lots of veggies.  I prefer frozen since they tend to have a fresher taste.  I go with green ones more often than not.  I love green beans, broccoli (so does my son, he pretends to be a dinosaur eating trees), corn on the cob or sweet potato (although not too often since both sweet potato and corn are points) and asparagus.  I try really hard to always eat my veggies first, then my lean protein and the starch last.

For snacks during the day I eat lots of fruit.  Mostly apples, pears and banana since they’re easy to grab and go.  I’ll do grapes, oranges and pineapple too, but it’s not as easy for a quick snack when you have kids. 

I really love Pop Chips (taste kind of like a cross between a real potato chip and a rice cake but believe me they’re yum!).  They come in flavors like Salt and Vinegar and Sour Cream and Onion. 

Fiber One Bars are also a staple of my snack routine.  I get the 90 calorie ones.  The brownies and the chocolate with pretzel are 2 of my favorites and they’re only 2 points! (Other flavors that are not the 90 cal, can be upwards to 5-6 points). 

I also much on chewy granola bars (less points than regular), beef jerky (just check the nutrition facts, some can be really high in points), pretzels, string cheese and veggies and ranch dip (cutting them all up and bagging them beforehand really helps, otherwise it’s too much of a pain.

For drinks, it’s water, water, water!  If I get all my water for the day in, I’ll reward myself with fat free milk.  Some tricks for making water yummier, adding fruit (any kind really), fresh brewed iced tea so I have control over how it’s sweetened and the concessional cup of coffee.  I add skim and sugar to mine.  I’ve find any artificial sweetener just hinders my weight loss.

These are on my good days.  There are days I fall off the wagon and crave Chinese food or pizza.  Like steak, I would eat Chinese all day everyday.  I just know I have to have it in moderation.  I used to be able to eat much of a large pizza by myself, now 2 pieces is plenty if I eat for hunger rather than for taste.  I am religious about measuring out my servings and portions and I think that is huge for me! 

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Posted by on March 27, 2013 in Uncategorized


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Sliding at the park

This afternoon I took my oldest son to the park.  I have mentioned before that one of my biggest reasons for starting my weight loss journey was to be able to play with my kids and not just sit on the bench and watch.

Today, I took him all by myself, no excuse to sit back and watch.  When we got there he was acting a little timid.  He didn’t seem to want to climb on any of the equipment or anything.  We tried the climbing wall, he started up to go down the slide and changed his mind, he got on one of the rocking horse things and determined it was too cold, he didn’t want to swing and on and on.  I was beginning to think it was a wasted trip.  We went over to the smaller play area and as he started down the steps instead of taking the slide, I asked him if he wanted me to go with him.  He hesitated for a minute, but then decided that would be a good idea.

Last fall, I wouldn’t have even suggested that as an option.  My hind-end was too wide to even sit in the slide, let alone actually slide down it.  I started up the steps and sat on the slide, thinking, “I really hope I can fit, since there are a bunch of people around.”

I sat down at the top of the slide and had no problem fitting.  We slid down together 4 more times after that.  Then he decided he was ok to do it on his own.  I was so thrilled that I was able to do it with him.

After the little slide I climbed up to the big one with him.  They have one of those bridges that moves that you have to go across to get to it, and he hates those.  We would climb up to the bridge, I’d carry him across, he’d slide down and we’d meet at the bottom.

On the way home, I fought back tears.  It meant so much to me to be able to play with my little man.  We left not because I was tired, or my feet hurt, but because it was starting to get cold.  I was able to climb on the playground with him, and slide on the slide.  It was something we had never been able to do together.

It makes every second of sweat, every bite of broccoli, every passed over candy bar more than worth it.  The number on the scale doesn’t matter when I see the smile on this beautiful face.  I’m on the right track, and confident by this summer, he’ll be working to keep up with me.


Posted by on March 27, 2013 in Uncategorized


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Yes I have lost weight

I find myself finding any excuse I can to brag about how much weight I’ve lost.  I’m like a cheetah waiting to pounce!  I hear the word weight, or diet, or snow (anything really) and I can’t stop myself from blurting out, “I’ve lost 40 pounds!”

Yesterday in church, an elderly woman in the congregation asked me how I was losing so much weight to which I responded, “I’ve lost 40 pounds!”  I think I must have found at least 5 good reasons to say it yesterday.

Today, I went to the store to grab some things and I picked up some light English muffins, (at Shaws, one of the grocery stores around here, their light English muffins are 2 points a piece whereas most are 3), and the checker told me Thomas brand was buy one get one free.  Of course I told her Iw as doing it for weight watchers point reasons and she asked me if I thought it worked, and I said to the total stranger standing in front of me, “I’ve lost 40 pounds since October!”  Then I watched as the woman behind me, the checker and the bagger all smiled in approval and amazement.  On the way out, the checker even wished me luck with my further weight loss.

A few months back, weight was such an embarrassment for me.  Now I’m proud of it!  I want people to know, I’m trying and I’m succeeding.  I also want to keep reminding myself of where I was.

So to all the people out there who I encounter, bear with me when I blurt out, whether it fits in conversation or not, “I’ve lost 40 pounds!”  This will continue until the number goes up past 45!

By the way, I managed to write it 4 times in this one blog!


Posted by on March 25, 2013 in Uncategorized


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I didn’t want to…but I did

For the first time since I started working out I really did not want to workout.  I’ve been nervous about it a couple of times, the first time I did zumba, the first time I ran, but more than anything, I was excited.

Today, not so much!  I was meeting a friend of mine to hit the road for our weekly run/walk, like we had 2 weeks before.  I don’t know if it was because I knew we were going to go the entire distance of a 5k, or if it was that we were meeting a half hour earlier or what, but I got so far in my own head that I spent much of last night and first thing this morning trying to come up with an excuse for my running buddy as to why I wouldn’t be able to go.  Stomach ache, sore foot, sore from my upper body workout the day before, all true statements but none bad enough to really keep me from going.

I pushed the urge back but even while driving to meet her, I was still trying to come up with a reason why I just couldn’t make it today.  When I got a message from her on the way to meet, I was hoping with all hope she was telling me she couldn’t make it.  She wasn’t…

We started out, and I managed to make it the furthest I have gone so far without stopping to walk (about .4 miles, not much I know but last week I only made it .2, and you gotta start somewhere).  I think maybe because I psyched myself up about it so much, it was the best one so far!

Next weekend is my first ever 5k, and I know that I will have no problem finishing.  My confidence hump today will hopefully give me the confidence I need next week.  I may change my mind by Saturday, but I’m excited for next week.  I’m so glad I went today.

Tonight, I’m pretty sore between my upper body workout yesterday and my run today, but I feel like I accomplished something and I’m so glad I have a running buddy or my butt would have stayed home this morning, that is for sure!

And another positive note, I wore a pair of sweat pants to run today.  They’ve gotten so big, I had to fight to keep them up while I was running.  Note to self, do not wear those pants next week at the 5k!

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Posted by on March 25, 2013 in Uncategorized


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How do I look?

I’ve been wearing blinders for the last few years.  I was convinced I didn’t look as heavy as the scale said I did, I was sure while I weighed more than 260 pounds, there was no way I looked like I weighed more than 200 (not like that is small, but it’s def smaller than I was).  I saw people on shows like the Biggest Loser and saw their weight was the same as mine and I thought to myself, “There is no way I look that big!”

Looking back, with 42 pounds gone and a lot more to go, I have realized I was only kidding myself.  I see pictures of myself that I refer to as my “thinspiration” and as cliche as it is, I can’t believe I let myself get to that point.  I’m disappointed, and disgusted and woken up.

Last night while I was at Zumba, there was a girl who was on the heavier side and she struggled to do a lot of the moves.  Her steps were small and her movements were not like a lot of the other people in the room.  She really inspired me.  She stood in the front row and gave it what she had for the entire hour.  I found myself giving more, because she was giving it all she had.  While I hid in my spot in the back, no longer blind to the fact that I am one of the fat chicks in my zumba class, I wished for her courage to stand in the front row.  Maybe some day soon, I’ll find myself there, but not yet.  I can hardly talk myself into the middle of the gym, let alone the front.

I have made a goal for myself, other than my weight loss goal, and that is to keep my eyes wide open.  I never want to hide the truth from myself again.  I never want to have to.

This picture was taken of me a couple summers back, not even at my heaviest.  Looking at this I think I look the 250 pounds I was carrying.

This picture was taken of me a couple summers back, not even at my heaviest. Looking at this I think I look the 250 pounds I was carrying.

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Posted by on March 23, 2013 in Uncategorized


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I ate it! I ate it all!

I have been doing weight watchers for about 6 months and today was my first splurge.

Not like it was that bad, but then why do I feel so guilty?

I’m one of those people who rarely eats my flex points (weight watchers you get a daily allotment of points and some weekly extras to use on whatever you want, known as flex points) and I hardly ever eat my activity points (extra points you get for exercising).  I guess I feel like I have plenty to lose and so I get plenty of points during the day so I don’t use them.  I’m so afraid I will either gain or not lose by eating those points and I feel like it’s a waste of exercise if I just eat it so I just don’t do it.

Today started like any other day.  I was planning on Chinese for dinner so I ate light for most of the day.  I was doing really well.  I had my hubby grab my dinner on his lunch break so I could fill my Chinese craving in its entirety, so I had my egg roll and crab rangoon for lunch so I’d have enough points for my rice and chicken and broccoli for dinner.

That was an excellent plan, until my hubby decided he wanted to do pizza for his dinner, and it spiraled from there.  I ate the topping off one piece of pizza (I’m a sucker for melty, greasy cheese) after eating my Chinese.  That wouldn’t have been so bad.  I was only over my daily points by about 4.

So not 20 minutes later, my parents stopped by and left their left over KFC for my oldest.  He decided he didn’t want it, so even though I had just eaten chicken and broccoli, rice and pizza topping and was not hungry in the slightest, I decided I needed to eat it instead.  Mid-way through eating the delicious, crunchy fried goodness, I looked up how many points it was.  Not sure if it was a good idea or a bad idea.  It was 14!!  I guess that is what my flex points are for, but I just feel so guilty and right back where I was a few months ago, eating simply because it tasted good.

I know I’ve come a long way from where I was 6 months ago.  I know that instead of sitting on my butt, I’ll get up tomorrow and work myself into a crazy sweat tomorrow evening at zumba.  It just scares me to think of how easy it is or would be to go back to where I was before.  It takes so much hard work to change your life and is so easy to revert back.

I guess I need to cut myself some slack since guilt will only make me want to eat more.  Tomorrow is a new day!  In the meantime, I think I need to go to bed so I don’t eat anymore tonight.


Posted by on March 21, 2013 in Uncategorized


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It has been about 6 months since I decided I wasn’t happy with the me aspect of my life.  I didn’t like watching my boys play instead of playing with them, I didn’t like the size 22 pants that filled my dresser drawer, I hated struggling to reach my feet to cut my toe nails.  I avoided mirrors, scales, dressing rooms and making eye contact with my husband.

At this point, I’m down 42.5 pounds (thanks to a 2.5 pound weight loss this week), I’m down to a size 14/16, I’m up off the couch going to zumba 3 times a week, running once a week and spending another day in the weight room.  I get down on the floor and play with my kids, I even volunteered to take my oldest to the park the other day (it was too cold and he only went down the slide once, but I was happy to feel like I could get out and play).  I am changed.

I still have a long way to go… I still struggle to look people in the eye, I still avoid mirrors and I still wonder what my husband sees in me.  But, I’m getting there.  I’m closer than I was yesterday and will be even closer tomorrow.

Today I got a new Oragami Owl charm for my necklace.  It’s inspired by the Rascal Flatts song, Changed.  There is a line in the song that says, “I’ve changed for the better, more smiles, less bitter.  I even started to forgive myself.”


I don’t know how I let it get to the point it did, and I guess I didn’t see how bad it was.  I looked at myself and thought, “how is that the number on the scale?  There is no way I look like I weigh that much.  I wasn’t even fooling myself.  But that is not me anymore.  I have more life in me than I have had in years.  I am changed.


Posted by on March 20, 2013 in Uncategorized


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I woke up this morning feeling super excited that I was not at all sore from my run!  Last week, it took me about 4 days to feel even remotely “normal” again.  It felt really great knowing my body had already adjusted to that activity and was handling it better than it had last week.

So I headed to the gym for my orientation with one of the trainers.  Confident in my strength and previous progress, I looked at the list she gave me for lower body days and thought, “Well that doesn’t look that hard.”  I was wrong!

The goal of my workouts is to keep my heart rate up so I can burn fat since I’m still working to shed lots of pounds.  Half-way into the set, I was sweating and def burning some calories.

A lot of the reps are things I can do at home, which is pretty amazing, since it is not always easy to get to the gym whenever I want to since I have 2 little ones at home.  My set starts with 12 leg presses at 135 pounds, followed by 12 squats, 12 Pilates squats (with toes turned out), followed by switch lunges (lunge with one leg, then jumping to a lunge on the other leg…this is still something I’m trying to get the coordination to do without falling over), calf hops then an ab machine crunch, curl thingy, then repeat 4 times.

Not sure if it was the 2 sets I had time to do today, or the running yesterday or a combination of both, but my legs are SCREAMING!  Steps are not my friend and I work on the second floor of a non-handicap accessible building.  If I hop down the steps, I’m good, any bending at the knees; not so much!

Can’t imagine what it will be like the first day I make it through all 4 reps!  I’m really looking forward to ZUMBA tonight so I can loosen up those thigh muscles.  They certainly need it!

In the meantime, thanks to Kim for setting me up with a workout that I’m pretty sure is going to be just what I need to keep me moving in the right direction.  While my legs hate you right now, they will love you this summer when they’re looking much more slender in a bathing suit.

Best words of wisdom I got today: when I said I wanted to get rid of what I lovingly refer to as my kangaroo pouch from having 2 babies (I will often refer to it as my fat flap, anyone who has seen the movie “Click” with Adam Sandler will understand the reference), she said, “Cardio, cardio, cardio!  People think that doing a bunch of ab exercises will do it, but we all have abs under there somewhere, we just have to find them!”

Here’s to finding my abs and making it through the day having to go up and down the stairs!

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Posted by on March 18, 2013 in Uncategorized


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