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Changed

20 Mar

It has been about 6 months since I decided I wasn’t happy with the me aspect of my life.  I didn’t like watching my boys play instead of playing with them, I didn’t like the size 22 pants that filled my dresser drawer, I hated struggling to reach my feet to cut my toe nails.  I avoided mirrors, scales, dressing rooms and making eye contact with my husband.

At this point, I’m down 42.5 pounds (thanks to a 2.5 pound weight loss this week), I’m down to a size 14/16, I’m up off the couch going to zumba 3 times a week, running once a week and spending another day in the weight room.  I get down on the floor and play with my kids, I even volunteered to take my oldest to the park the other day (it was too cold and he only went down the slide once, but I was happy to feel like I could get out and play).  I am changed.

I still have a long way to go… I still struggle to look people in the eye, I still avoid mirrors and I still wonder what my husband sees in me.  But, I’m getting there.  I’m closer than I was yesterday and will be even closer tomorrow.

Today I got a new Oragami Owl charm for my necklace.  It’s inspired by the Rascal Flatts song, Changed.  There is a line in the song that says, “I’ve changed for the better, more smiles, less bitter.  I even started to forgive myself.”

Image

I don’t know how I let it get to the point it did, and I guess I didn’t see how bad it was.  I looked at myself and thought, “how is that the number on the scale?  There is no way I look like I weigh that much.  I wasn’t even fooling myself.  But that is not me anymore.  I have more life in me than I have had in years.  I am changed.

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3 Comments

Posted by on March 20, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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3 responses to “Changed

  1. perpendicularpessimist

    March 20, 2013 at 5:55 pm

    Reblogged this on perpendicularpessimist.

     
  2. Mentoring Movement

    March 20, 2013 at 9:11 pm

    Keep up the great work! More people exercising means more people supporting each other in being healthy.

     
  3. Mancakes

    March 20, 2013 at 10:15 pm

    You are such a great inspiration, so glad you started this blog!! 🙂

     

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