Monthly Archives: April 2013


A little Comparison

A little Comparison

I posted a picture on my facebook page this morning of myself in a pair of size 10s! I haven’t worn 10s in so long I can’t remember. Granted, most of what I am wearing these days is 14s, but still. It got me wondering about a comparison. So in this photo, the first image is from November, after I had lost about 12 pounds, the second from January when I was down about 25-30 and the last one is from this morning! I don’t see it looking in the mirror everyday but I certainly see it here.

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Posted by on April 30, 2013 in Uncategorized


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Birthday Bash!

I haven’t been able to get on much in the past week.  My son turned 4 and between cleaning and prepping for his birthday party, my workouts and my other son and my husband, that didn’t leave a ton of time. 

In prepping for my son’s Sunday birthday party, I decided to make his birthday cake the day before.  Good thing I did!  Pintrest makes me think that I am crafty, when the reality is, I’m far from it.  I was planning on making a 3-D pirate ship cake.  I found a simple (or seemed to be simple) design on pintrest.  You made 2 box cakes, cut out a ship, piled one on top of the other, and stacked higher on the ends of the cake.  You were supposed to be able to hold it together whatever those big toothpick looking things are called. 

I got the cakes baked and started trying to put them together.  First, the second layer of my cake split.  As I’m trying to frost the cake, praying it will hold up and stay together, my 7 month old is crying and running into me with his walker (over and over again), then as I stacked, the more it split and I watched as the front of the boat separated further and further from the cake, until I helped it the rest of the way into the floor!

My oldest then joined the choir of crying because mommy ruined his cake, my youngest was still running into my heels crying, and running his walker through the cake I had thrown on the floor, I had my head down on my arm crying,  It was spectacular! 

Walmart ended up “fixing” the cake for us.  And by fixing, I mean making.  I figured the $15 was worth my sanity!  He had a great birthday party, and mama resisted the cake, so it was a win win!

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Posted by on April 30, 2013 in Uncategorized


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Still Obese but not Extremely

We had health assessments at work today.  I was really interested to see what my BMI was since I have lost 52.7 pounds (2.7 this week!).  I was not surprised to see that my BMI was at 33. 

That got me thinking about what my level was when I started back in October.  I did a quick search for an online BMI calculator.  After just a few seconds I discovered, my BMI started at 43!  In fact, webmd told me to “Take Immediate Action!”  6 months ago, I sat plumply at extremely obese. 

I am still in about the middle of the “obese” section, I’m only 3 away from just being “overweight” and 8 away from Normal.  I have lost more than I have left to.  I’m on the right track, and when (not if) I get to goal weight, I will be sitting pretty in the pretty green section of the BMI chart.

I never want to be in the red again, and I won’t be.  When you’re being told at the age of 28 to “take immediate action” it’s a real eye opener.  I have a long way to go, for sure, and while my goal weight is still 60 pounds away (I’m a little less than halfway there), I’m more than halfway to a healthy BMI.

Another big accomplishment today, I survived my first WOD!  It was not nearly as horrible as I thought it would be.  It was by no means easy, and it most certainly gave me a different challenge than zumba does.  I was sweating within just a few minutes, and had to push myself hard to finish.  We keep track of our own numbers so it would have been easy to miscount to shave off a few, and believe me, I thought about it, but I knew the only one I would be cheating if I did, was myself.  In fact while doing mountain climbers I lost count a time or two and I’m pretty sure I did several extra because of it.

I will say I have never done so many squats in one workout before, I haven’t done more than 10 pushups at a time since high school (I did wall pushups today, but still, 10 has been my max in the last 8 years), I did exercises I haven’t done since grade school (mountain climbers) and was introduced to an exercise known as the “man maker.”  There are videos of this on youtube, I watched some…mine looked nothing like that!  Pretty sure mine were in slow motion with my butt up in the air.  We were supposed to get a 1 minute break after those, I’m pretty sure I took a 1 minute break in between each one.

Tonight I certainly feel like I worked out today.  My legs are tired and a little achy and a bit like jelly, my arms are a little sore (driving a manual transmission car home was interesting) and I’m sure tomorrow morning it will be worse, and probably Friday morning will be even worse than that, but that means I did something.  I really worked muscles that I haven’t been working. 

And I will def be going back!  My schedule is hectic in getting there for the right times, but I know for sure I will be there Monday.  My goal is to go from Zumba 3 days a week and running 1 day to Zumba 2 days, WOD 2 days and running 1.  I would love to do WOD more often but for now, my work schedule just doesn’t allow it.  I say this now, I very well might change my mind when I try to get out of bed tomorrow morning.


Posted by on April 25, 2013 in Uncategorized


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Getting Ready for a New Challenge

I added working out to my diet about 3 months ago.  I have loved ZUMBA since the very first time that I went.  It burns lots of calories and for me, it’s fun.  After doing zumba 3 times a week for about 3 months, I think my body is starting to get used to it.  Don’t get me wrong, at the end of an hour, I’m sweating and panting like crazy, but about 5 minutes later after I cool off, it doesn’t even feel like I did anything.

I know I have stepped up my intensity in my work outs at zumba, and I know I will continue to, but I have decided it’s time for a new challenge.  One that is the ultimate challenge for me (if running wasn’t enough of an ultimate challenge).

On Wednesday I’m going to a class called my WOD (workout of the day).  I have to admit I’m terrified.  this class incorporates a lot of the things I hate and have always said I can’t do.  It includes some of the aspects of a CrossFit workout (without the weight lifting aspect).  I see lots of burpees, push-ups, squats, rowing and probably vomiting in my future.

While for some that doesn’t sound like a “fun” workout (myself included) I am ready to push myself beyond the limits of my comfort zone.  I have spent years telling myself I can’t do something, making excuses to not even try.  I don’t want to do that anymore.  I’m ready to prove to myself I am capable of things I never imagined.  I may look like one of the Biggest Loser contestants on the first day in the gym on Wednesday, probably all blacking out and throwing up, but at the end of the day it is my decision to keep going or to give up and I know I can do this. 


I know I’m going to be pushed by the trainers to a point where I quite literally might think I’m going to die, but I won’t, in fact it will add years on to my life.  I’m ready for a new challenge.  I won’t give up zumba entirely because I simply love it too much, but I’m ready!  I’m excited and extremely terrified!  I’ll let you know how it goes.

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Posted by on April 22, 2013 in Uncategorized


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Winning in Last Place

My main goal since I started doing 5ks (finished my third today) was not to come in last.  I think that is why I was so worried about my race today.  I have completed 2 races before this and have not come in last, that being said, I believe the only people who finished behind me in both races were walkers, but either way, I wasn’t last.  Today’s race was different.  They had the walkers start about 15 minutes before the runners.

At first I couldn’t decide which group to go with.  I eventually went with the runners because I knew if I went with the walkers I would do just that, walk.  I knew I wouldn’t event try to run, so I decided the only way I was going to push myself was to go with the runners.

I started towards the back of the pack and that is where I stayed.  The gap between me and the rest of the runners just kept getting bigger and bigger.  After only a few minutes it was obvious I was going to be the last runner finished, so instead of focusing on that, I had to turn my attention to other things.

First off, there are so many people who were standing at the finish line of the Boston Marathon who will never be able to run again.  So many people who would give so much just to be able to maintain the slow jog that I do.  I am capable, and that is what matters first and foremost.

Second, the furthest I have gone without stopping to walk is 1 mile (and I’ve only done that once a couple days ago).  I decided to focus my attention on being able to make it further than that.  I made it all the way to the half way mark and kept going.  In fact, I’m pretty sure I only walked maybe 7 telephone polls.

It wasn’t a fast pace.  In fact, I added about 30 seconds to my time from my last race, and added about 10 seconds to my first 5k time.  I came in last place and I took longer to run the course, it would be easy for me to convince myself, I had failed.  But I didn’t.  I think today was my best race so far.  I’m pretty certain if I measured it out, I probably ran (jogged) almost 3 times.  I set goals for myself, then I exceeded them.  I started out wanting to make it to 1 mile without stopping to walk, then the turn around and I made it there and then some.  I walked for 3 telephone polls and decided I would run to the corner, and I got to the corner and kept going, probably another mile.  I conquered my fear of finishing last.  I finished strong, and for the first time today, I didn’t have a finish line team to come out and run the last stretch with me.  I did it on my own.  They were there cheering me on, but it was me who motivated myself.

Don’t get me wrong, I was disappointed when I heard my time at the finish line, but today I know I did the best that I could and that is more than good enough for me.  I don’t know when my next race will be, but I know what my goal for it is.  My goal before the end of the summer was to be able to complete a 5k without walking, and whenever my next race is, that’s what I’m going to do.  It makes me pretty happy that I was so close to that today in my 3rd ever 5k.  I will accomplish my goal.  It won’t matter if I’m last, second to last or if I manage to finish better than that.  What will matter is that I stayed true to myself and shattered the goals I have set for me.

I follow a Women of Crossfit page that while I don’t do Crossfit I find to be very inspiring.  Earlier this week they posted a picture with this caption, “it’s often the people who are “slowest” who think so poorly of themselves.. But you know what?! Those are the people who have the ability to inspire WAY more than the fastest person.. Why?! Because they are out there, doing what they need to do to be healthy! Don’t give up or think less if yourself if you’re last at a WOD (running or not)… You are THERE. Which is more than all the obese people sitting on their asses can say! Be proud – first to finish or last!”  I’m pretty sure this caption and the picture that went with it, was for me.


Here is the picture that went with the caption on the Women of Crossfit page.


Posted by on April 20, 2013 in Uncategorized


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A Day to Celebrate

7 years ago, I spent this day celebrating my best friends 21st birthday.  A bunch of us gathered around a table in the corner of a restaurant for some food, drinks and laughter.  It was not only a celebration of a beautiful woman’s birth, but also a celebration of the brave battle she had fought against cancer. 


Those 3 years had held a lot of ups and downs for her.  She had endured countless hours in a hospital room hooked up to an IV while her body was pumped full of poison that would hopefully save her life.  Her beautiful brown hair had fallen out in clumps on her pillow and in her shower while she cried tears of fear, sadness and change.  She had waited through body scans and blood tests, anti-nausea meds and so much more.  But more than that, she had finally found the man of her dreams, she had risen above the pain and continued to dance, she had inspired so many, and she had survived.  We had no idea her fight was only just beginning.

Looking back now, had I known that was the last birthday I would celebrate with my friend, I would have stayed all night long.  I would have toasted to the memories and made more.  I would have held on a little tighter, savored the every moment.  She had come through so much and was so strong, I never thought CANCER could take her from us only 5 months later.

Today I look back, 7 years later.  She would have been celebrating 28.  To this day I still find myself picking up the phone to call her, I look at my babies and wonder what hers would look like and if they would play together as we did so many times at their age.  I think of her when the wind blows and when I see butterflies.  Because of her, I still smile when I hear a Blink 182 song or see Elton Brown on the food network.  I wish she could meet my husband and had been there to stand next to me at my wedding, and when I welcomed my babies into the world.  Everyday she is my inspiration.  The pain of her absence is as strong as it was the day she took her last breath.  So many things we would have shared together, so many more memories to make.

Cancer may have taken her life, but it could never take her spirit.  It never took her smile or the spark in her eyes.  It never came close to her courage, her laughter or her ability to make others laugh.  It took her from my life, but never from my heart.  Love you Lace!  Dance strong!  MIZPAH!

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Posted by on April 19, 2013 in Uncategorized


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Off the wagon and back on again

it has been a tough week for me.  I even skipped my Weight Watchers meeting Wednesday morning.  Not because I thought I had gained, but I just wasn’t feeling it.  I weighed in at home, stayed the same as last week, and figured I’d start over again Wednesday.

Leading up to Wednesday, I hadn’t done horrible, I hadn’t gone way over my points, I just wasn’t in it.  My will power was lacking.  I had a couple of meals last week that consisted of snacks because my one bite turned in to three or four or five, “eating up” my points.  I was supposed to go for a jog on Sunday morning and instead walked the entire 3 miles.  I didn’t push myself, I was just there, going through the motions.  Tuesday night I decided I wasn’t going to my meeting on Wednesday and I might as well go all out before starting over on Wednesday.  We had Chinese food for dinner.  I didn’t even use all of  my flex points, but here I am, 3 days later, still paying for my go for it Tuesday.

Wednesday morning, I woke up and weighed in right around the same as last week.  Since then the number on the scale has been creeping up.  This morning, I’m up 2 pounds from this time last week!  WHAT?!  2 pounds!!  I’d hate to see what happens if I really went crazy and ate all my flex points and my activity points.  Errr!  I can’t give up though.  I have lost 50 pounds so far and I will keep at it keeping this lesson in my head.  Since I usually eat healthy food for my flex points and obviously I need to stick to that.

After a rough week, and my now 2 pound gain, it would be so say to say screw it, might as well let this week be shot too, but that’s how it starts and I can’t let myself get there again.  I cannot give up on myself.  I am human, I slip, I make mistakes and it’s where I go from here that will determine where my life takes me next.

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Posted by on April 19, 2013 in Uncategorized


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Bet you can’t eat just one…I know I can’t

I have decided one of the reasons I got to the point of over weight that I did is thanks to nibbles.  I am a nibbler.  When my son had left overs, I nibbled on them, when I was at a party I would take just one cookie, and then another, then another, when I had a bag of chips, I’d eat a few, then nibble my way through the whole bag.

The last couple of days nibbling has been a challenge I’ve been facing and I have to say, haven’t been doing too great a job at tackling.  Yesterday I had a Lia Sophia party at my mom’s house.  I did a great job of picking snacks that would be healthy for me.  I got light dip, and fresh veggies.  My mom on the other hand, no so much.  She had a key lime cheese ball with some chocolate dusted pretzels.  It looked so good, and I love cream cheese.  I decided to have just one.  BAD IDEA!  One turned into 2, then 3 and before I knew it, I had eaten my lunch points on cheese ball.  It was delicious, but left me starving for much of the afternoon. 


Photo Courtesy:

Last night when my son didn’t finish his dinner, I found myself picking at his leftovers.  I still managed to stay within my points but not in what I would consider a healthy way.  These are all habits I used to have that I have been trying hard to break.  The problem is, food just tastes so good to me.

The only solution I have found so far, is to avoid the yummiest things all together.  I know I can’t have just one bite of chocolate cake, I want the whole cake and while I start with good intentions, I rarely end that way.  So today it’s back on track.  Back to saving my bites for the stuff that is really going to help fuel me through the day.  Hopefully I will eventually be able to have these kinds of yummy tib bits with a little more self control, but until then I know the best thing for me to do is avoid them.

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Posted by on April 14, 2013 in Uncategorized


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Bad Breakfast

Yesterday was a really tough day for me.  All I wanted to do was eat.  For the first time in months, I went to bed starving.  I think I may have even dreamed about food.  I couldn’t figure out why yesterday was so different from days past.

Then it came to me… I had fast food for breakfast.  I stayed within my points for the day, but I started out my day eating about 4 more points than my usual breakfast.  Those points weren’t food that stuck with me either.  Lesson learned.  Grabbing a quick bite is so not worth the pain for the rest of the day.  Today it was back to light English Muffins for this girl.

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Posted by on April 12, 2013 in Uncategorized


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Me? An Inspiration…?

This morning I headed to my Weight Watchers meeting as is my Wednesday morning ritual.  I weighed in (50 pounds this morning, since mid October!!  Yay!!) and headed into the meeting.

While I was weighing in, I heard the girl in front of me, who has been coming to meetings for a while, (who lost 4 pounds this week) say she decided this past week she was going to really focus and work hard at it. 

On the way out, she stopped me and asked my name.  She then told me, the reason why she decided it was time to get serious is because I have inspired her.  You probably could have knocked me over with a feather.  There are days I struggle to be inspired myself, let alone to inspire other people.

This isn’t the first time someone has told me that in the past month.  I had someone send me a message on facebook that said she had decided to join Weight Watchers because she had seen what I had been doing.  The night I got that message, it brought tears to my eyes.  It has been so hard for me to get here and to know that because I decided I wanted to change my life, someone else might want to do the same, is amazing to me.  I am humbled, and my own motivation is renewed whenever I hear something like this.


I look around me on a regular basis and see so many people that have inspired me.  My sister is one of the most inspiring women I know.  She worked hard to lose weight before she got pregnant with her 3rd child.  After he was born, she mustered up the motivation to do it again.  She is still not to her goal weight, but she is beautiful, just as she has always been, and her motivation is what motivated me to start in the first place.

My running buddy has also been an inspiration to me.  She has done an amazing job getting to a healthier lifestyle.  She has been through some truly life altering experiences that might have left some to let go of their fight but she has battled.  She looks amazing and her strength physically, as well as emotionally amazes me.  She is the reason I started trying to run and the reason I haven’t given up.

My mother has also always been such an inspiration to me.  My whole life she has inspired me because she is my mom, but more than that, she has always taught me how important I was as a person rather than a size.  My mom has battled with her weight for a long time, and has had to deal with some pretty harsh people and judgements because of it.  In my mind, that has only made her stronger and only made her that much more beautiful.

There are so many others who I take inspiration from.  My friends that are no longer here on this Earth are a constant reminder of how blessed I am to be here and that I should never take anything for granted, including my health; my children, who remind me on a daily basis how strong I am and how much I have to live a healthy life for; my husband, who no matter what our lives throw at us, is always my biggest fan; my dad, who would walk through fire for me if I asked him to; my in-laws who were the first (and to this point only) members of “Team Beth.”

You never know when you’re inspiring someone.  You never know when the kick start you give yourself to get out of bed and go to the gym is kick starting someone else, and it doesn’t really matter.  What matters is at the end of the day you inspired yourself, everyone else is a wonderful bonus!


Posted by on April 10, 2013 in Uncategorized


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