Monthly Archives: May 2013

Staying Active

The trainer that does my WOD class suggested that I keep an activity journal.  I decided this is probably not such a bad idea.  I keep track of my food and I keep track of the number of activity points I’ve earned, but there are days that I don’t track my activity and I feel like I haven’t done anything when in reality, I have.  I’ve gotten so used to my squat challenge so when I do it, I don’t even really think about it, but I’m still getting my butt up off the couch.

I have to say that today I’m not at all worried about being active.  Today is Relay for Life!  I’m so excited!  Today I will laugh with survivors, cry for those who have been lost way too soon and remember the most amazing woman I have ever known who lost her battle with cancer at the age of 21.

I know I’ll be getting in at least (probably a lot more) solid hours of walking, I plan on doing Zumba during relay (they do a fundraiser for the American Cancer Society during relay), then another (AT LEAST) 3 hours of walking tomorrow morning.  I’m pretty sure my Weight Watchers points will go out the window tonight.  I’m tracking during the day today, but I’m not worrying too much about what I eat for snacks at relay since I’ll be walking them off.  As long as I stay away from the fried dough and candy bars, I should be fine.

I figured it out last night and between walking and zumba (3 hours of one and 1 hour of the other), I will earn about 22 activity points.  I get 30 points in a day, so I’ll earn almost a whole nother day’s worth of points.

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Posted by on May 31, 2013 in Uncategorized


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Weighing In

I decided yesterday to create a page on here to track my progress with the numbers on the scale.  I’ll be updating it every Wednesday after my weigh in.  Not only do I want to be able to look back and see my progress, but I also want to show the ups and downs of my weight loss. 

I have been lucky so far and only had one gain since I started in October.  My weight loss has been pretty steady, right around 2 pounds a week with some smaller .2 amounts and some larger ones (my biggest loss this week of 5.4 pounds!!), but for the most part, it’s a slow and steady (hopefully) wins the race.  This weeks’ weight loss brings me to a total of 65.6 pounds!  That is 25% of my body weight!  My next goal of 75 pounds, is less than 10 away, with goal weight a little more than 46 pounds.  Losing 112 pounds seemed so impossible in October but now that it’s getting closer to being within reach, I know I can get there. 

In the next couple of days I’m going to be adding a workout journal.  I’ve started it, but wanted to have more than 1 day on there before I published it.

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Posted by on May 29, 2013 in Uncategorized


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Staying on Track

This week has been a really rough week for me.  We’re in the process of moving and some of my usual workouts got bumped this week for different reasons, and it seems the more days I go without working out, the less I want to. 

I had several days this past week where by the time I got to dinner time, all I had left for points was 5 and for anyone who is familiar with Weight Watchers, that’s not many at all, and since my workout schedule has been suffering as well, I didn’t feel like eating extras, since I wasn’t working for them.  Last night my dinner consisted of strawberries, blueberries, tomatoes, cucumbers and watermelon (with about 1/3 cup of pasta).  While it was low in points, I would not recommend that.

I missed 2 days of zumba (I did end up able to replace one), for the first time in months I didn’t run once this week (still haven’t).  I was going to this morning, but after snoozing for 40 minutes, it was too late.  I wanted to go to zumba during my lunch break today but in the chaos of the move, I can’t find a single pair or workout pants! 

I don’t know how people manage to stay on track when life throws you curve balls.  On a positive note, I have managed to lose 5 pounds this week.  I have no idea how, apparently my body has appreciated the reset.  All I know is, I better get back on track before my body realizes what it’s doing and the numbers start going in the other direction.  If I don’t find those damn workout pants for zumba today, I’ll be doing it in my jeans tomorrow night!

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Posted by on May 28, 2013 in Uncategorized


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Time to go Shopping

Today was a great workout day!  I missed my Wednesday night zumba last night because I had to work.  I haven’t missed a day of zumba since I started going a few months ago unless I was at another workout (or I missed 1 with the flu).  I was feeling pretty awful about not going last night.  Not that I could help it.  I was making some much needed money so there wasn’t a choice.

After I left work, I decided since I didn’t make it to zumba, I would walk to my husband’s work.  We are a one car family and he wasn’t supposed to be out of work for at least a half an hour.  I made it 2 miles before he called to ask where I was so he could pick me up.  I would have made it all the way to his work, but about 5 minutes in I developed a blister on the top of my foot (my shoes were too big and it’s not like I had a spare pair of sneakers with me).

So after feeling pretty lazy yesterday, I decided today I was really going to push myself.  After a day of packing and unpacking (yup, we’re moving!) I went to WOD for an hour.  I did tons of frog jumps, some rowing, some burpees and on and on.  I was so hot and sweaty that even the skin on my arms was bright red.  After WOD, I decided to stay for zumba. 

I do WOD at a different gym than I usually do zumba at, so it was a different place, some different songs and a different atmosphere.  I spent some time getting a little lost of some of the songs I hadn’t done before (and it was harder to hide since it was a smaller crowd) but I managed and it was fun.  Don’t get me wrong, I love doing zumba where I usually do it, but I spent more time smiling, I may have even laughed a time or two, which is unheard of during a workout.

I also had a bit of an I need to go shopping moment.  At they gym I was at tonight, they do zumba in front of a mirror.  There I was in my yoga pants and my 2x shirt, and seeing myself in the mirror I decided it might be time to take this shirt out of circulation.  I’m now wearing a medium to a large so this 2x, as you can imagine is rather flattering. 

I know for me the purpose of a workout isn’t to look sexy, but looking in the mirror, I determined, I have earned all 60 of the pounds I have lost, I deserve to look like it everywhere I go, even if it’s to the gym to get red faced and sweaty.  So I guess it’s time for a trip to Goodwill!

Oh and after all this, I’m up to 220 squats in my squat challenge so I guess I better get my butt up off the couch and get it over with, before my earlier workouts catch up with me.

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Posted by on May 23, 2013 in Uncategorized


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Lack of Self Control

It is obvious that I struggle a little bit with self control.  It’s like my brain doesn’t tell my body when it’s full when something tastes good.  I could sit down and eat, and eat, and eat and not even realize that I’m full until 20 minutes after I have eaten it all.

I find myself having to avoid certain foods for that reason.  As far as Weight Watchers goes, I can eat whatever I want, but the problem is I can’t.  When I manage to flex my will power muscles, I want to eat everything else in sight. 

I obviously still manage to stick to my guns most of the time.  I have lost nearly 60 pounds, but my love of food scares me.  I’m so afraid of getting back on that track.  I wonder if I’ll ever be able to eat like a “normal” person.  I often wonder if I’ll ever be able to go to a restaurant and order whatever I want, or if I will always have to watch every bite I put in my mouth.  Will I ever be able to eat a mozzarella stick and be able to stop myself from eating 6 more?  All I know is, right now, I have to limit that kid of thing.  I know it will never be good for me, and I have to keep telling myself, if I’m never able to eat those things, it will be for the best.


Posted by on May 20, 2013 in Uncategorized


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Getting Ready to Relay

2 weeks from today I’ll be lacing up my shoes for Relay for Life.  All the proceeds go to the American Cancer Society, and I can’t think of a better cause to donate to.


I have seen first hand the horrible things that cancer can do.  I have sat through a funeral service, while a 4 year old girl sobbed as photos of her mother, who lost her battle to a brain tumor in her twenties, I have sat in the sun, feeling the breeze, while tears streaked down my cheeks while remembering my best friend, I have seen clumps of hair on her pillow, I have held tightly to a woman who is saying goodbye to the baby girl she brought into the world, and then I have seen miracles. 


I have seen a woman battle leukemia with both fists swinging.  I remember visiting her at the hospital when I was maybe 8 years old, and now 20 years later, she’s pushing 80.  I have seen my aunt and cousin come out on top of thyroid cancer.  I have spoken with people who have had tumors disappear, without any explanation.


I have hope that some day there will be a cure; a cure that doesn’t require pumping the body full of poison.  I pray every night that my boys will stay healthy and that one day, cancer will not be something my children lose a best friend to.  I relay in honor and in memory of those who have heard the words “you have cancer.”  In a couple of weeks, when I line up at Relay, I will be surrounded by people who have won their battle, and people who have lost someone to it.  I will feel the wind on my face, and know that those I have lost are always with me.  I will hope for a day when the world is free of this disease and I will pray that my boys will learn from the strength of the people walking the track with us.


If you would like to donate to help me reach my fundraising goal, every little bit helps!

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Posted by on May 17, 2013 in Uncategorized


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Reminded What it’s All About

Yesterday I got to spend a wonderful Mother’s Day with my boys.  The day started with breakfast in bed made by my hubby and my oldest son (after about 5 minutes of “cooking” he came upstairs and climbed into bed with me and watched a movie). 

After a breakfast of egg whites and homemade home-fries, we got ready and headed to my parent’s so we could go to church with them.  After church we spent some time having lunch with my mom and dad, my grandmother and my sister and her family.  After lunch the kids played for a bit, then we headed for home.

We were planning to spend some time at home before heading to my in-laws, but on the way home, the kids both fell asleep.  I had told my husband the night before that I really just wanted to make sure I was able to go for a run.  Since my in-laws live down a dirt road, we decided to head to their house earlier than we planned and to go running there.  My husband also decided he was going to run with me.

When we got changed and ready to run, my 4 year-old was really upset.  He really wanted to go with us, but since the distance we were planning was 2.4 miles, we didn’t think it was such a good idea.  I was filled with guilt as we walked out the door, with him standing in the window, waving with tears running down his cheeks.  I kept thinking, “This is Mother’s Day.  I’m supposed to be spending time with my kids,” but I decided it was only 2.4 miles, so it wouldn’t be that much time that we’d be gone. 

It was really nice to run with my husband.  It was certainly a first!  He kept his pace a little (or a lot) slower so he didn’t get too far ahead of me. 

The furthest I had gone without stopping to walk was a little over 1 1/2 miles, so the 2.4 was quite a task for me and I’m sure had I gone by myself, without my husband’s encouragement, I probably wouldn’t have made it the entire 2.4 miles, but I did!

A little over halfway through our run, I got some additional encouragement.  My father-in-law brought our son out to meet us on their golf cart.  When he saw us, he hopped out and ran with us for a few minutes.  While all 3 of us were running together, I was reminded how important being a good role model for my boys is.  I may have had to leave him for a few minutes, but he is getting excited to exercise with us.  He may have only run for a few minutes, then stopped to walk and throw rocks, but he saw his mom and dad working together, working out and wanted to be a part of it. 

It was such a special moment for me.  I forgot all about the sad eyes that watched me leave and saw an energetic little boy smiling and running.  This is not something I would have imagined a Sunday looking like for our family 6 months ago.  I’m looking forwards to turning more lazy Sundays with my boys into a chance to be active as a family.

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Posted by on May 13, 2013 in Uncategorized


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This is Why I Do Classes

Yesterday I didn’t make it to my WOD like I had hoped to.  I couldn’t find a sitter for my kids so I had to skip.  I didn’t want to just do nothing, and running wasn’t really an option since my husband didn’t make it home from work much before dark.  So I decided to do a Jillian Michaels workout instead.

It was not the best idea I have ever had, and it reminded me why I go to classes.  I do so much better working out in a group atmosphere.  When I’m working out by myself it’s far too easy for me to just give up.

As I’m doing the workout (in my kitchen, since it’s the most open space I have) I’d think to myself, “Well, I really can’t do a burpee in my kitchen,” or “I don’t have a mat and my feet keep slipping.”  I spent a lot more time sitting on the floor watching than I would like to admit.  Not that I slacked on the whole thing.  I definitely got in a workout and was working up a sweat, I just know I didn’t put in as much as I could have.  That being said, I almost stopped 20 minutes in, but finished the entire 35 minutes.

After I was finished I was reminded how much I sometimes short change myself and how little I give myself credit for when I’m on my own.  I hope someday I will put in as much effort in my kitchen doing a workout as I do in the gym.  In the gym I have other people around me, people who can see if I rest on the floor for more time than I need to, or see when I totally skip one exercise because I don’t really like it.  When I have other people watching me, I don’t do that.  I will give up and let myself down when I’m alone, but I can’t stand the thought of people knowing I can’t do it.

I’m only cheating myself by not putting my whole heart into every workout.  I know I can do it; I’ve done it before.  So tonight at zumba, I’m going to give it everything I have to make up for my lacking workout last night, and going to keep my fingers crossed I find some way to get to WOD sooner rather than later!

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Posted by on May 8, 2013 in Uncategorized


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Frustrated with my Schedule

Today I’m feeling super frustrated.  I really wanted to make it to my WOD.  I haven’t been able to make it since last Monday.  Not that I haven’t been working out because I have.  I went to zumba Wednesday, Friday and yesterday, ran 1.5 miles and did 100 squats on Sunday and went to a family walk on Saturday, but WOD is where I really push myself to levels I don’t think I can achieve.

We are a one car family.  The WOD class that I do is about a 20-30 minute drive, whereas my zumba class is just 2 minutes from my work.  It also works out that zumba is right after I get out of work, so my kids are already with a sitter or with my husband.  WOD on the other hand is earlier in the day, so in order to make it, I either have to leave work early, which might be an option every once in a while but not on a regular basis, or I have to find a sitter for an hour and a half to 2 hours while I go work out.  That should be easy, but it really isn’t.

So here I am, on a day I really want to make it to WOD.  I have asked my mother, my mother in law, my brother in law’s girlfriend and on and on it goes, with no luck.  The odds of me being able to make it at all this week are looking pretty slim.  Thursday is the other day that I might be able to make it, but I’m in the same boat Thursday. 

This won’t be a problem next week.  I have talked my husband into switching one of his days off, so no matter what I will be able to make it to WOD every Thursday and I can’t wait!  Until then, I’m going to pout and be grumpy about it.

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Posted by on May 7, 2013 in Uncategorized


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Having a “Fat Day”

There are days when I look in the mirror and see all of my hard work paying off.  Then there are the days when I see all the work that is still to be done and and for that moment, standing in the mirror, the distance I have come doesn’t matter.

Yesterday was one of those days for me.  I was getting ready to get in the shower and our wonderful, huge mirror that sits directly behind the toilet (not my choice of placement, we rent), caught my attention.

I have had 2 children and I’m not one of those lucky women whose body snaps right back to perfection after having children.  My youngest is 8 months old, and my stomach still looks like a deflated balloon.  I remember saying to my husband after the birth of our first, the first time I went to get in the shower at the hospital, I felt like Adam Sandler in the movie Click when he wakes up from a coma, has lost a ton of weight, and screams, “I have a fat flap!  Fat flap, fat flap!”  And that was how I felt after just one child.

I used to pride myself on my flat tummy, I had to squeeze my thighs into pants, but it seems to be the opposite now.  I have to suck in and squeeze, only to find myself with a mommy muffin top once I finally get my pants buttoned.  It seems no matter what I do, that “fat flap” is still there.  Don’t get me wrong, I am proud of my body for carrying 2 baby boys, and I’m amazed by what a woman’s body is able to do, but that kangaroo pouch is something I am the most self conscious of.

Then I noticed my thighs.  I know I am building muscles under there, I can feel it, but in my reflection all I see is rolls, wrinkles and dimples.  And don’t even get me started on my arms.

I know my hard work will pay off eventually.  I know even if I can’t see it at this moment, it already is.  I know it takes a lot of time and a lot of hard work, but as hard as I’m working, I want it to work faster!  1 pound at a time, I know is spectacular, but when there is so much to lose it seems so tiny.  I wish I could just wake up tomorrow morning 150 pounds and a size 6, but I know that’s not going to happen.  I know it will take much more than a day to lose the 60 pounds I need to lose to get to that point.

Yesterday, all I wanted to do was put on my size 24 capri pants and feel bad about myself.  I wanted to lay down on my bed and pull the covers over my head so no one could see what I do.  But I have 2 children.  There is no time for that when you’re home alone with 2 kids.  I knew hiding my head in the sand is what I have been doing for too long now, and it’s time to face the fact that my body is not what it was 10 years ago.  It’s time to stare into the mirror and see the 60 pounds I still have left to lose.

After that was all said and done, I decided instead of putting on my fat clothes, I would instead put on the smallest pair of pants that I can fit in.  I’m wearing mostly 14s (from 22-24), but I have a pair of rogue Old Navy Bermuda Shorts that are a size 10!  I straightened my hair (I think it makes me look thinner), and put on some makeup, and went with my hubby and my boys to a barbeque with friends at my sister’s.


It only took a few minutes of looking in the mirror dressed and made up, to feel better, and to know that in 6 months when I’m even closer to my goal, I’ll feel even better.  I know, there will still be days when I look in the mirror and see something that disgusts me, but I won’t let that dictate who I am or who I can be.


Posted by on May 5, 2013 in Uncategorized


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