Saying no to foods this week has been tough for me. I always have good intentions, and never plan a splurge, but I just can’t seem to stop myself! The other day I had Chinese food for lunch. I have acknowledged this a trigger food for me and have said in the past, I just can’t have it because I don’t know when to say when. I made a decent decision when I ordered, planning for only a total of 10 points. It should have been plenty of food, but after I ate what I had planned, I ate some more, then I ate some of my moms. When all was said and done I had devoured at least 21 points (I get 29 in a day).
This wasn’t the only time I had a splurge this week. Everyday I would say, “Today I will do better, today I won’t use any flex points,” and it hasn’t happened this week. One day, I thought I did so great, until the next morning when I remembered a snack I had forgotten to track. And another day, after waiting in line at Wendy’s to order a small chilli (5 points) and a half ceasar salad with grilled chicken (7 points without croutons), only to be told they were out of both, I went to McDonald’s and ate french fries instead.
To go with all the can’t stop stuffing my face moments I’ve had this week, my gym schedule has been screwed all up. I got in my Monday and Wednesday zumba sessions, which were great, then it was all down hill from there. Thursday I planned to go to WOD. I had to travel about 45 minutes to help my mom out with some things, and since WOD is between her house and mine, I figured I’d go right from her house. I got almost there and realized I had left my work out clothes at home. I was wearing jean Bermuda Shorts and a push up bra, so I called around to a few friends to see if anyone had anything I could borrow with no luck. Where my parents live there is no where I could have just got and bought some, so I missed it.
That night we got a call from our usual Friday sitter for our kids saying she was sick. I found someone to watch the boys so I could go to work, but wasn’t able to get to zumba Friday.
This all being said, I know I could have made it work with exercise if I had really tried. I could have gone for a run Thursday or Saturday. I could have hauled out my zumba dvds, or done some dancing with our xbox 360 Kinect, but I didn’t. I sat on my butt, took several naps in the afternoon and ate.
It was reminiscent of how I used to spend my days. It always scares me when I find myself falling into these old habits. I know those unhealthy habits are what got me to 262 pounds. It has taken months to re-train my body and for my routines to become habit. It’s amazing how it can take just a few days to revert back.
Unlike the past however, I’m working to find my way back on track. I managed to stay within my points yesterday, and that is my plan for today, and this evening, I plan on spending an hour sweating like crazy and loving every second.
I left food be a weakness in me for too long. Today I will remind myself how strong I have become and how strong I have always been.