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Today, I like what I see

31 Jul

It has been several years since I’ve looked in the mirror and liked what I’ve seen.  At 262 pounds, I avoided mirrors, and cameras and pretended I didn’t have a problem.  I told myself I didn’t look as heavy as I did.  I would see someone I knew who was over weight and think “I don’t look nearly as big as she does.”  When I got size 22 pants for Christmas I thought there was no way they would fit me, and when they did, I told myself it was because they were cheaply made, so they ran small.  It’s funny how losing some of the weight has changed that.

The other day, I was going through photos for a before and after comparison.  I know that I looked every bit the 262 pounds that I was.  I know I fit in size 22 pants because I was overweight.  I know I had a BMI of 43.  I never had the guts to check it before starting this journey but when I put in my old weight, it said to “Take action immediately!”  I was at an increased risk for so many things that could take me away from the beautiful children I prayed so hard to get.  My 262 pounds didn’t look any different than anyone else who weighs more than 250 pounds, no matter what I told myself.

For a long time on my weight loss journey, rather than being proud of what I have accomplished, I see where I want to be, and am disappointed I let myself get to the point I did. 

But something has changed in me recently.  I’m not trying to sound conceded, but when I stop and think about it, I’m in awe of what I have accomplished.  I have lost 80 pounds since October.  That’s an average of nearly 9 pounds a month and have lost more than 12 inches in my hips alone (that since I did my measurements last, about 2 months ago)!  I can fit comfortably into a size 12!  I can walk a mile and barely get winded.  I’m down to a 30 BMI (which is so close to being over weight vs obese).  I can share a seat with my son and not feel like I’m squishing him. 

Sometimes I find myself thinking, 80 pounds…I have lost 80 pounds.  I have lost my 4 year old, my 2 year old niece and my 11 month old son with a couple pounds to spare.

This morning I looked in the mirror and noticed, there was no muffin top sticking over the top of my pants, there were no rolls on my back, and I never say this, but I looked good! 

While I would generally worry about what people would think of me for tooting my own horn like this, today I don’t care.  Today I’m proud of what I’ve done!  Today, I’m happy with my body, and while I still have more left I want to lose, I’m a different person from here on, no matter how many more sizes I drop and that is something I should be proud of!

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7 Comments

Posted by on July 31, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , ,

7 responses to “Today, I like what I see

  1. fatness now fitness

    July 31, 2013 at 6:34 pm

    Well done for what you have achieved.

     
  2. fatness now fitness

    July 31, 2013 at 6:43 pm

    Reblogged this on fatness to fitness, our journey and commented:
    Good to reflect once in a while!

     
  3. bodylikebeyonce

    July 31, 2013 at 6:54 pm

    Congratulations! You’ve done an amazing thing. Be proud of yourself 🙂

     
  4. delightedbylife

    July 31, 2013 at 8:20 pm

    Congratulations on loving what you see!! or liking it, but if it was me id love it! flaunt it! you don’t sound conceited at all. frankly you worked hard and you deserve to be in awe of your self! its this feel good attitude that helps us keep going and maintaining!!!

     
  5. balteri84

    July 31, 2013 at 8:23 pm

    Thanks for the thoughts! You’d think my confidence would be booming after loosing so much weight to this point, but it’s actually the opposite most of the time.

     
  6. Jill

    August 1, 2013 at 3:41 pm

    There is nothing wrong with celebrating your accomplishments. In fact, it might lead to more accomplishments, so toot that horn as long as you need to!

     
  7. Liz

    August 1, 2013 at 4:04 pm

    That’s amazing! Good for you!!

     

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