Monthly Archives: July 2013

Reassessing How I See Others

I have decided I have spent way too much time lately wearing my judgey pants.  I find my self thinking things like, “Why is she at the gym, she certainly doesn’t need it,” or “wish I could eat that mountain of onion rings and look like that,” or the classic, “eat a cheeseburger.”

I know how very unfair I’m being to people.  I’m guessing I do it because I’m bitter and wish I didn’t have to work as hard as I do to even be on my way to a healthy weight.  But then I’ve spent some time thinking the last few days about how unfair my judgement is.

First off, who is to say that girl in front of me in zumba, wearing the spandex skirt with the rocking legs hasn’t worked just as hard as I am to get there.  Maybe she has that banging body because she eats healthy and gives it all in a workout.  Maybe she spent years overweight or never tipped the scale at over 150, but puts in the time and effort to make it that way. 

Then there are people I know who do eat cheeseburgers, lots of them, and no matter how hard they try to gain weight to be healthy, simply are unable.  Maybe that girl on the treadmill that 90 pounds soaking wet, has been eating 4,000 calories a day for years, but still can’t gain weight, so she’s working out to add pounds in the healthiest way possible.

We as women are pretty much programmed to never be happy with how we look.  I think parts of use are programmed to look around us and want what we can’t have, but that’s not to say that person isn’t battling their own demons. 

I think it’s time to take off my judgey pants and burn them with my size 22’s.  I know I need to work hard for what I want, and stop looking at others wishing I had what they do.  For most of us, you get what you give, and I know I wouldn’t want people looking at me thinking negative thoughts when I’ve put in the work, however, I would love just once for someone to tell me to eat a cheeseburger.

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Posted by on July 8, 2013 in Uncategorized


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Just Not Feeling It

These last couple of days have been rough for me.  Not with diet or exercise.  I’ve stayed on track as far as that goes.  When it comes to body image on the other hand, I’ve struggled. 

There are days when I look in the mirror, proud of what I have accomplished, then other days I only see what those years of unhealthy did to my body.  I see jiggly arms, a wiggly belly, skin that hangs over my knees and a significantly smaller chest that hangs a bit lower. 

It doesn’t help that there have been some hurtful things said to me recently about my body.  I know I shouldn’t let other people’s words determine my thoughts on myself, but they cut deep.

Today I will avoid the mirror at all costs.  I will go to zumba on my lunch break and sweat out the tears I want to cry.  I will allow myself to feel sorry for myself, but only for today.

Tomorrow I will remind myself I am healthier than I ever thought of being 9 months ago.  I am a better example to my children.  I am my own worst critic and as I have been so many times in the past few years, my own worst enemy.  I won’t let anyone put me down.  I will stand up for myself.  Tomorrow I will do my best to look past all my imperfections and see the changes I have made in me, for me.  Tomorrow I’ll feel good about what I have accomplished, but today, I’m just not feeling it.

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Posted by on July 5, 2013 in Uncategorized


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Wait a Minute…What Does that Scale Say?

Earlier this week I did a post about having the modify my Fourth of July goal.  I really wanted to hit my 75 pounds, but since that didn’t seem super realistic, I revised my goal to stick to my Weight Watchers points and up my water intake.

As of Monday morning it was beginning to look like I probably wouldn’t make my goal, but instead of eating my way out of it, I kept at it.  I did some serious water drinking too.  I struggle to get in a bottle of water a day and with my workout routine, my body just stores it.  I had promised myself I would drink more water this past week, and I did, but until Monday, I was still not drinking nearly enough.

When I went to bed last night, I went to sleep knowing I had done the best that I could.  I knew that no matter what the scale said, I had had a healthy week and let up a little on the importance of the number.

I got up this morning an stepped on the scale thinking it would probably be close.  My scale tends to allow me about a pound more than the scale at my Weight Watchers meetings so I had set a goal of 185 by my scale (I’d need 187 by theirs).  I held my breath and looked down and saw a 184.4 staring back at me!  What?!  I weighed myself 3 more times just to make sure.  Image

Somehow I managed (more than likely thanks to the water) to lose 5.1 pounds this week!  I was in total shock.  It doesn’t seem possible that about 9-10 months ago, I was walking around at more than 262 pounds.  I go into a store to try on clothes and hold them up thinking there’s no way they will fit, and they do.  I’m wearing the same size I wore in high school, but more important, I’m healthier than I have been in years.

I didn’t make it to my Weight Watchers meeting to get my washer for my key chain.  Money was tight this week and I had no wheels to get there, but you better believe next week, I’ll be there ready to celebrate!


Posted by on July 3, 2013 in Uncategorized


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I have had to modify my goal for the 4th of July.  I want those 75 pounds so bad, but I want to be reaching my weight loss goals in a healthy way.  As of my weigh in last Wednesday, I was still 2.4 pounds away according to my scale.  If I’m going to hit it at my Weight Watchers meeting, I’d need to add at least another pound to that.  Since my biggest week so far was 5 pounds, 3.5-4 pounds in 1 week isn’t impossible, but it isn’t probable.

I don’t usually set goals that I can’t make, and I was certain I could get there.  I guess I forgot to tell my body.  I don’t want to push myself to unhealthy limits so I decided to revamp my goal a little bit.

I decided this week I’m going to stay on track 100%  I don’t often stray from the Weight Watchers program.  I usually stick pretty religiously to my points but I have to admit, I struggle when I’m out of my element.  I find it really difficult to stick to it when I’m at my parents or at my in-laws.  At my parent’s I just want to eat constantly, and find myself searching for points for dinner and at my in-laws, I always do really well at dinner, but when it comes time to clean up, I usually end up with more in my belly.  Last weekend, for example, we have spaghetti and meatballs for dinner.  Not really diet-friendly, but I saved some points for the day, measured out my dinner, allowed myself 1 meatball (they’re HUGE) and did really well.  I didn’t feel hungry or deprived, but after dinner, while putting food away, I inhaled another meatball.  Bye-bye daily points and 5 flex points…

I also want to make sure I’m pounding the water this week.  That helps me see a spike in weight loss when I’m getting enough water.

So far, I’ve done pretty good.  I went to a bridal shower on Saturday and I’m pretty sure I ate my weight in fruits and vegetables (most are no points), but I managed to stay within my points for the day.  According to the scale, it hasn’t helped much, since I haven’t event lost a pound, but I have 2 days left and I can honestly say, I have no done so well on the water front.

I’m disappointed I’ve had to adjust my goal, but I know how important it is to do this the right way.  The pounds might be coming off slower than I want them to, but they’re still coming off.  I’m getting healthier everyday, and while I’m still at almost 190 pounds, I’m wearing the same size I wore in high school.  I credit that to the hours I spend in the gym since I didn’t weight even close to that in high school.

As for today, bottles up my friends.  Here’s to drinking enough water that my eyes start to float!

Modified Goal

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Posted by on July 1, 2013 in Uncategorized


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