Monthly Archives: March 2014

A Taste of Spring Before the Return of Winter

New England has really had one heck of a winter this year; below normal temperatures, above average snowfall… and now it’s spring on the calendar but it appears mother nature has yet to get the memo.  Today it’s mix, snow, sleet, freezing rain, yesterday was torrential rain with the occasional burst of freezing rain, but Saturday… it was gorgeous.  It was about 50-55 degrees, sunshine and blue sky.  I actually went out without a coat on and took my son’s off after a bit out and about.  It was a pleasant reminder, spring is finally on the way.

It was also a day of no excuses.  My husband was out of work early and I had no good reason not to head out for a run.  I haven’t run really at all since September, after finishing my last 5K of the season.  I like to use any reason I can as an excuse not to run.  I enjoy the benefits of it, the feeling of accomplishment after, but the act itself, I’m just not a fan, so all winter, my reason has been, I’m afraid of running on a treadmill.  That is no lie, I’m terrified. 

Last season, I would often run by my house, but the road is flat, heavily traveled and boring so I decided to take a different route for my run Saturday.  It was beautiful.  The snow was melting, water flowing over the rocks, ducks on the water; next time I’ll have to take a picture.  After taking the entire winter and most of the fall off, I expected to make it a couple hundred feet before I felt like I was dying, maybe a few telephone polls; but I surprised myself.  I went 1.7 miles without stopping to walk, and while the pace wasn’t fast (12:25 per mile) it wasn’t that much slower than my nearly 12 minute mile from the fall.  I’m pretty sure I could have gone further if I hadn’t been back to my car.  It actually felt good, the WHOLE time.  I was hot and sweaty and winded, but my legs didn’t burn the way they used to, my breathing was a lot more steady than it has been.  I was fully expecting to be insanely sore on Sunday, but I wasn’t.  In one run, all my excuses no longer seem relevant, except this weather.  Still not dedicated enough to run in the snow…

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Posted by on March 31, 2014 in Uncategorized


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Will I Ever Run Again?

Last year I made a decision that I wanted to run a 5K without stopping to walk.  I met that goal in September and told myself if I never ran again, I would be OK with that, and I was for a while, and now here I am, the third day of spring (FINALLY!) and I already have at least two 5Ks I’m planning on running this year.

The problem is, now that I have run a 5K start to finish without stopping to walk, I don’t want to go back.  My first (at this point) race is the Color Run on June 22nd.  I still have time but I’m getting antsy to train.  You might wonder why I don’t just go ahead and start training.  So here’s my reasoning/excuses.  I am (or have convinced myself) I am unable to run on a treadmill.  I don’t maintain my speed in the slightest and I’m terrified I’m going to fall off.  I know I probably won’t but I watched a few too many of America’s Funniest Home Videos as a kid, and to me, this just does not seem funny… Also, this has been an insanely longer winter.  Just when it starts to look like the roads might be clear enough or the temperature above 10 degrees, it drops back into the deep freeze or snows.  I know a lot of people who will run, no matter what the conditions, but I will be the first to admit, I’m not that committed.  In fact, while I like the feeling of accomplishment after, I hate the act and the anticipation of it, I can find nearly any reason to talk myself out of it.

So why do I want to run?  It is a HUGE challenge for me and a major exercise both physically and mentally.  I can make it through many of my workouts because I do a lot of them in a group setting, but when I run, it’s just me, the road and my thoughts, and while that is good for some people, it’s not so good for me.  I want to stop after the first step and that doesn’t not a 5K complete.  Here’s hoping Mother Nature will stop helping me make excuses soon!

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Posted by on March 22, 2014 in Uncategorized


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Surrounded by Incredibly Strong Women

Yesterday morning I was at TRX bright and early per my usual Thursday morning routine.  For the most part, the people in the class are the same week to week which is great!  We all get comfortable with one another and get to know a little bit about each other.  One woman said the other day she felt it necessary to learn all our names sine she sweats with us 2 times a week.

Yesterday was the usual group, plus or minus a couple people.  As we were doing forward lunges with a chest press with the rip trainers, I realized in my group (we are broken down into 2 groups and alternate cardio and resistance bands) I was the youngest.  Not only the youngest, but the youngest by about 25 years or more. 

To my left was a woman I know is in her mid 60’s (I know this because as she was running several feet ahead of me this fall she mentioned her birthday).  She is in amazing physical condition.  While I struggled to push on without stopping for a break, she made it look easy.

To my right, a woman who I would guess to be in her late 50’s.  She can do burpee circles around me.  Of the 4 women in my group, I was the youngest, in the other group of 5, there was one woman I would guess to be around my age, and all of these lovely ladies push me to work harder.  They are so strong and fierce.  I can only hope that 25 years from now I’m as strong and capable as these beautiful women.  One came in to TRX after an hour swimming, another I see on a regular basis on the cardio equipment before class.  As a twenty-something I strive to be as athletic as these amazing ladies. 


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Posted by on March 21, 2014 in Uncategorized


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To Look Good Naked

My body has been through a lot in the past few years; weight loss followed by even greater weight gain, carrying and giving birth to 2 children then losing more than 100 pounds.  I know I should be praising this body of mine for all it’s put up with from me other the last couple of years, so why then is it so hard to see past the flaws?

There are days when I look in the mirror and I’m so proud of what I see.  Those days are most certainly more frequent than they ever were in the past.  Then there are other days when I’m disappointed.  After I got pregnant, I knew that my days of wearing a bikini were likely limited, and I was OK with that.  I wear my tiger strips with pride because it is proof of the most amazing things my body has even been capable of. 


If you squint, you can almost see some ab muscles. Also note, this picture is from the belly button up. While I appreciate why my tummy is the way it is, it took a lot for me to post a picture of my belly, and it only gets worse on the lower half…

However, I have put in a lot of hard work over the past 18 months to lose the weight and to get fit.  I never thought about the possibility that I would look a bit like a deflated balloon, all over, without any clothes on.  Not that I’m a nudist or spend a lot of time walking around in the buff, but I would love to rock a pair of shorts this summer and feel good about it, not the shorts that barely cover my backside, but perhaps a pair that sit at all above the knee.  At this point, You couldn’t pay me enough to do that!

I see photos online of all of these people who have lost a significant amount of weight and have stunning muscle definition and no skin sag and I wonder if it is reality, and if it is reality, if it ever will be reality for me, without hours under the knife and months of recovery.  I can feel the muscles I’ve worked so hard to rebuild, I know they are there, I know that’s what matters, but man, would I like to see them.  They are hidden under the layers of what I did to myself; my punishment for getting to the point I did. 


A look at my knees. I know to some they are horrific while to others they don’t look too bad, but to me they are one of my biggest insecurities.

My sister and I have talked in the past about weight loss and skin sag.  She has also lost a significant amount of weight and when she told me she feels like she looks so much better with clothes on now that she’s lost weight, but that she looked a lot better naked when the fat was filling it out I thought she was crazy and now that I’m there myself, I completely agree.  I know there are those haters who will say if I hadn’t allowed myself to get so pleasantly plump to begin with, my body wouldn’t look the way that is does now, but I did, and it does and I’m getting there.  If not physically, emotionally…

I read a blog a while ago about lose skin after weight loss and her take on it was so inspiring.  She said she saw it as a reminder of how far she had come and while I hope to someday see it that way I’m just not there yet.  So I’ll keep working out, building more muscle, tightening and toning what was filled out for so long.  While I’m certain I will never wear a bikini again (that’s OK with me, my boys were more than worth it) maybe someday I’ll rock a pair of shorts somewhere other than my own living room.  In the meantime I will appreciate winter for nothing else other than tights!  (But then I did just post a picture on the internet so why not wear shorts!)

P.S. It’s a good thing my husband loves me and thinks I;m beautiful no matter what.  If he ever saw me with the eyes I occasionally see myself with…


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Posted by on March 19, 2014 in Uncategorized


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