When I was a kid, all of my cousins referred to me as “Boney Beth.” I was super tiny and could eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted and not gain a pound. My sister always told me it would catch up to me someday and she was right.
When I started college, I gained the “freshman 15″ and than 30, then 40 and before I knew it, I was up to 199 pounds. I refused to let myself get over 200 so I started doing Weight Watchers and going to the gym religiously. I was able to shed 60 pounds in no time and managed to keep it off for a couple of years.
That was until I met my husband. You know what they say happens when you get comfortable… you gain weight, and I most certainly did. When we got married I was back up to 175 and within less than a year of our wedding I had ballooned to 242 pounds. I found out while we were trying to get pregnant with our first child that I have Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS). It makes it really easy to gain weight and a lot harder to lose it.
After our first son was born, I continued my upward climb. By the time I found out I was pregnant with our second son, after 2 years of trying and a tubal pregnancy, I was up above 250 pounds and after our youngest was born I found myself tipping the scale at 262 pounds (2 months after he was born). I weighed more 2 months after he was born that I did a week after. And what’s worse… I didn’t think I could possibly look that heavy!
I found myself struggling to get down on the floor to play with my boys, sitting and watching my oldest play at the playground, having to sit after only a short period of time to keep my feet from hurting. This couldn’t happen! I’m only 28 years old and I was not living up to being the fun mama I always wanted to be.
And that’s just how I was feeling on the kids front… I was no longer the woman my husband married. I was much more, and not in a good way! I don’t want people to look at us and think what in the world is he doing with her, and more I don’t want to think that. He tells me all the time, I’m beautiful and he loves me and would no matter what, but I don’t, and that means I can’t love him the way he deserves to be.
In October, I started doing Weight Watchers again and here I am. I’m down 110 pounds and on to maintenance. I still struggle with food and motivation to exercise, but I’m a different person than I was before.