Tag Archives: weight watchers

Leader Training Just Around the Corner

I’m super excited to say I have training to become a Weight Watchers leader in about a week and a half.  I’m so excited!  Not only am I looking forward to the motivation to stay at goal weight (you can’t be a leader if you’re not at goal), but I’m really looking forward to sharing my story with other people and hearing about others’ weight loss journeys.

Losing weight is not an easy mission to accomplish.  It never comes off as fast as we want it to, when it does come off, the scars physical and emotional scars left behind, stick with us much longer and once the pounds are gone, it’s a constant battle to keep them gone.  There are some of us who will always have to watch what we eat and will always have to spend hours at the gym to keep our metabolism moving.  It is a constant battle, one that doesn’t end at goal weight.  That’s why I’m so excited about this next chapter in my life, because that is what it is.  I have changed my life, and I’ve changed it for good.

Like another leader said to me the other day, the reason I want to be a leader isn’t about being paid, it’s about motivating myself and others to get healthy and be happier.  I know how inspired I am on a regular basis by all the wonderful people at my meeting and I’m so looking forward to more.

That being said, it will be my first time going away from my family by myself since I met my husband 7 years ago.  My husband went away for military training on a regular basis early in our relationship and our marriage (right up until last year really), and he and I have gone away fro a night without our kids, but I have never gone by myself and left them at home…

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Posted by on November 26, 2013 in Uncategorized


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Maintenance Mess

At this Wednesday’s weigh in, I’ll be 4 weeks into my 6 weeks of maintenance before I get the coveted lifetime membership at Weight Watchers.  I’ll be 4 weeks in, but I make no guarantees I won’t be starting over. 

I underestimated how difficult this was going to be.  Be obtain lifetime membership, I need to stay within 2 pounds one side or the other of my goal weight. 

It has not been easy to switch gears.  After more than a year of tracking every single thing I put into my mouth, every single day, It’s been about a week since I tracked anything more than breakfast.  I’ve managed so far to stay within .4 pounds of my goal for 3 weeks, but I have to say, this week, I’m worried.

I do really well during the day, but from about 5 o’clock on, I can’t seem to stay on track.  There’s that little voice in my head saying, “You’re not trying to lose anymore, you’re on maintenance, that one Oreo isn’t going to make or break you.”  Which it won’t, it’s the second Oreo, the milk to go with it, and the snack that follows later.

Today I’m back at it.  I’m telling myself, I’m here to lose over the next few days.  At this point, I don’t think I’ll be over my 2 pounds of wiggle room, but I don’t want to be so close I have to worry.  Tonight is a double duty workout with zumba followed by TRX (it’s a holiday week so no TRX classes on my usual Tuesday and Thursday morning). 

I will stay on track today and I will be within the 2 pounds of my goal weight.  I can do this.

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Posted by on November 25, 2013 in Uncategorized


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And Just Like That, I’m There

After 1 year and about a month, my weight loss journey has ended and changed.  Today I hit my goal weight!

After weeks of being stuck, I contacted my doctor last Wednesday and talked to her about doing a doctor’s note for me for my goal weight.  It took me 3 weeks to lose .6 pounds and I was getting frustrated, and scared of gaining out of frustration and confusion. 

My doctor’s office called me Monday and told me my note was available to be picked up.  A flood of emotions came over me.  First was relief.  The pressure of that 10 more pounds I wanted for my original goal was all the sudden gone.  The stress of trying to figure out what tricks I had up my sleeve to make my body go back into weight loss mode was relieved. 

Next came fear.  What if I can’t maintain that weight.  What if I lose during my maintain window, or worse, what if I gain.  I have trusted the process for over a year now, but how do I trust it when I’m adding points back into my diet?

Then came disappointment.  This was the first time in my weight loss journey I had set a goal that I would not attain.  I really wanted that weight goal and in the emotion, I let myself down.  I didn’t get there, I gave up on pushing.  Yes I had been stuck for a few weeks, but I let the fear of slipping put the brakes on all together.

As I type this now, I’m at the goal weight set for me by my doctor.  I had 2 pounds left to lose to get there, and after 3 weeks of hardly budging on the scale, I lost 2 pounds. 

I’m still trying to work through all these emotions.  The relief is still there, the fear is still  there and so is the disappointment; that is the one I’m trying the hardest to overcome.  I know I didn’t make it to that number of the scale I had set for myself, but… I lost 102 pounds!  I’ve gotten to a healthy percentage of body fat, I’ve lost 50 inches from my body (64 if you count each leg and each arm separately) and I’ve gone from a size 22 to a 6.  When I started, I wanted to be healthy and I am.  Truth be told, when I first set my goal a year ago, I had set it 15 pounds higher than I am right now. 

I’m trying to focus on what I have accomplished and how much more those accomplishments mean than a number on a scale. 

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Posted by on November 6, 2013 in Uncategorized


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Struggling to Find my Way

I’ve heard a lot of people talk about how hard it it to lose weight.  As someone who has managed to drop a large number of pounds to this point, I have come to the determination that 15 pounds is way harder than 100.

With a big amount of weight to lose you have the determination and the drive to get the weight off.  For me, I knew it was life or death, happiness or misery.  For me, the pounds came off so much faster 100 pounds ago.  2-3 pounds a week was the norm, and if I had a week that I lost less than a pound, I considered the week a loss. 

At this point in my weight loss, if I lose a pound in a week, I’m ecstatic!  Right now I’m about 12 pounds away from my goal weight.  I’m pretty certain, I’ve been 12 pounds from goal weight for the last 2 months (I’m being dramatic, but it feels like forever).  I go down a half a pound, then up a pound, then back down a pound and I just keep hovering around the 161 mark.

There are a couple of reasons I see this being the case.  I’m happy with my body and my health where it is.  The main reason for my desire to get to goal weight is for the coveted Wight Watchers lifetime membership.  If that wasn’t a goal I set for myself in the beginning, I would say forget it and move on to maintaining on my own.  My doctor offered to “Support me in whatever” I decide to be the best weight for me at this point, She told me if I plateaued, to let her know, and we’d come up with a goal weight number together.  That being said, I think I’ve still got those last 12 pounds I can lose, if I can just figure out the right formula for it.

When I started doing weight watchers, I never used my flex points.  I didn’t feel as thought I needed to, I had plenty to use, and when I started working out in January, I never used any of my activity points either. I kind of felt like it defeated the hard work I was putting in at the gym if I then ate the points I earned.  I was working out to lose weight and get healthy, not so I could eat more.

Now I have found at the minimum daily points allowance of 26 I have to eat some of those extra points.  Not because I’m starving, but my body thinks it is.  If you figure on a given day, I earn 5 activity points, subtract that from my 26 daily and I’m only having 21 per day.  The average point (according to internet sources so take it how you like) is 38-40 calories.  That equals out to about 1,000 a day, no wonder my body thinks it’s starving!  One the days I do zumba, I burn between 550-600 calories!  That leaves me with only 400-500 to survive!  So now I’m trying to find the balance.  Trying to figure out how many activity points I need to eat on the days I hit the gym, and how many flex points to keep the numbers going down.

I feel like I’m eating more now than I have in months.  I feel guilty to splurge, but actually had a week a couple weeks back that a gained 2 pounds in 3 days while not using any flex or activity points than dropped 2.5 in the following 4 days be eating all my flex and activity points.  I’m so confused because the plan I’ve been doing for so long is no longer working for me.  I’m doing a lot of guess and check which isn’t helping put consistent numbers on the scale.

On Tuesday, one of the trainers at the gym I go to has offered to take a few minutes to go over some weight training with me.  At this point, burning all those calories with cardio may not be the best option for me.  We’ll see if I can get the balance figured out.  Until then, it’s more guess and check…and after reading this blog, it appears to be almost as jumbled as my thoughts on my diet!

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Posted by on October 28, 2013 in Uncategorized


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A Lot Can Change in a Year

it has been 1 year since I walked in to my first Weight Watchers meeting.  I remember that morning like it was yesterday.  I was nervous, clammy; I was ashamed.


I walked into the room a woman who hadn’t looked her husband in the eyes in months.  I walked in unable to stand for long periods of time, unable to go grocery shopping without discomfort.  At 27, I weighed 262.1 pounds and I was ready to make a change.  I had no idea when I walked in to that room how much this journey would change my life.

It started slow for me.  A lot of people talk about how the first week of a new diet they drop pounds like crazy, but I didn’t.  At least not as fast as I wanted to.  I was afraid I would fail.  I had failed before, and I was certain I would again, but I refused to let it keep me from trying.  I beat myself up everyday for allowing myself to get to the point that I did but somewhere along the way, something in me changed.


As the pounds came off, I gradually hid myself a little less.

In January, I started going to the gym and that’s when the real changes were set into motion for me.  I was proud of the weight I had lost, but I still felt weak.  I didn’t think I was capable of achieving my goals, even though I was working at it and getting there.  I was still ashamed and still looked in the mirror and saw 262 pounds.

Working out has changed not only my body or the numbers on the scale, it has changed me.  I no longer feel weak but I feel strong and capable.

I often find myself thinking after a sweaty, grueling workout, ‘Who is this person?’  Or after watching the sun rise on my ride home from the gym; after using the excuse on more than 100 occasions that I couldn’t get up to workout because I needed my rest, I wonder how I would start my days without accomplishing something before the sun comes up.  I look my husband in the eye, I play with my kids, I’m not to goal weight yet, but I’m happy.  I’m ok with myself.  I’m ok with my body and I’m thrilled with how fair I have come.

I am capable of so much more than I ever gave myself credit for and one thing I have learned over this past year, is I will never sell myself short again.  In April, I was convinced I could never run more than a mile without stopping to walk, and a couple weeks ago, I ran 3; when I was a cheerleader in high school, I couldn’t do 1 push up, and now I’m able to do 5 at a time (not much to some, but a lot to me).


I have 12 pounds left to my goal weight, but that is now the after thought rather than the per-cursor.  It’s no longer about the pounds, or the numbers on the scale, it is how I feel, which is the complete opposite from what it has ever been.

I have fought myself every step along the way.  I’ve wanted to give up.  I have struggled to finish workouts, but I have finished them.  I have lost 100 pounds and more than that, I feel comfortable in my own skin.  I no longer have a BMI of 43 (I’m down to a 27 BMI).  I tried on a dress yesterday that was a size 4!  A size 4!  From a size 22!  At first I was self conscious about the skin on my legs left behind from loosing 100 pounds, but then I felt hot!

size 4

After years of trying my hardest to blend in, I’m ready to be seen.  Yesterday I bought my first ever “little black dress” and a pair of blue pumps.  I cant wait to wear them for our wedding anniversary this coming weekend.  I haven’t worn heels since before I got pregnant with my first son (about 5 years ago).  I never could have imagined when I walked into that Weight Watchers meeting year ago how my life would change, how I would change and how amazing it would feel.


Posted by on October 15, 2013 in Uncategorized


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A Second Opinion And My Goal Weight Is Set

A couple of weeks ago I went into the doctor’s office and spoke with the provider that I saw about what my goal weight should be.  She thought it was absolutely criminal (literally) of me to think my ideal weight may not be written on a BMI chart.

This week, I had an appointment with my actual primary care provider.  She sang a slightly different tune, and was so much easier to chat with about what I’m looking for health wise.  First, let me start by saying, I was not against the BMI recommendations, I’m just feeling so great and so happy with where I am, I’m anxious to start the next part of my journey to maintain, and also wanted to be sure the numbers I was setting for myself were healthy ones for me.

After sitting down with my doctor, we determined my goal weight should be right around 150, which is close to what the BMI chart suggests (145).  She outright stated she would not want to see me get below 150 with my body fat percentage already at a healthy number.  That gives me 18 more pounds to shed.

My doctor also told me if I found myself hitting a plateau before that, to give her a call and she would “support me in my weight decision.”  I was pretty excited after leaving the doctor that day.  I’ve been working really hard towards becoming a better, healthier me and I felt like all those hours spent at the gym, away from my family, away from my kids, is all worth.  I have worked hard to become the mother I wasn’t before.

I know these last 18 pounds aren’t going to fall off.  Why should they?  The other 94 didn’t.  But at this point, my goal is in site.  Losing 112 pounds seemed impossible when I started, but now, it seems inevitable.

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Posted by on October 3, 2013 in Uncategorized


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A Super Slippery Slope

After being stuck on the scale for almost 3 weeks, I decided this week I was going to try mixing up my diet to try to trick my body into losing again.  I’ve tried mixing up my exercise routine without the numbers budging.  I know people who have take a diet break week.  They get a little lax on their diet, then get right back to it the following week.  They may gain a pound that week they take off, but the next week their body starts to let go of the pounds again.

Ever since I began doing Weight Watchers I have tried not to eat my flex points or my activity points.  When I started I had enough points to be satisfied.  I didn’t need to use the extras.  As the pounds dropped off, so did the number of points I could have in a day and I just never started eating those extra points, mostly because I was afraid to.  I was afraid that after so long of not using them, that I would gain if I did.

In the last few months, now that I’m down to a lower amount of points, I’ve found myself using some of my activity points occasionally.

This week I had decided I would eat all of my activity points and all my flex points.  They are there for a reason, yet I still feel guilty using them, and I’m terrified.  I know I should be using those points this week to eat more healthy options such as lean proteins and peanut butter and such.  Instead, I had apple crisp and ice cream last night (not a ton, maybe an eighth of a cup of each), I had a chocolate cookie for breakfast and Chinese food for lunch.  And when I say Chinese food, I mean the good stuff, an egg roll, teriyaki chicken and crab rangoons.

For me it is a slippery slope.  In the past I would never have described myself as a food addict, but in the last couple months I have come to see myself as a recovering one.  I LOVE the taste of food.  I would occasionally eat my feelings before, but mostly, I just love how it tastes.  Indulging in these kids of foods scares me.  I see how easy it would be to slip back in to old habits.  I see how one bite just leads to another until I’m so drunk on food I don’t care what it’s doing to my body.

These last few months, I have been in control.  Today, for the first time in nearly a year, I had no control and didn’t care to.  This afternoon, I stood in my kitchen and finished off the order of crab rangoons (I shouldn’t have bothered to box them up and take them home), and now here I sit feeling, hungry, guilty and fat.  I’m sure I haven’t gained 10 pounds today, but seeing my reflection in my computer monitor I would swear my second chin is rearing her ugly head.

I’m not sure if I can handle this whole reset for my body.  I want so badly to get to the magic BMI number that will give me lifetime membership at Weight Watchers, but I want to be healthy for my family more.  I want to be active and fit so I can play with my kids, I want to have the energy to wake up with them in the morning and not spend the afternoon sleeping on the couch.  This reset may jump start the scale, but then again, it may not.  And then what?  Then I’ve spent a week with old bad habits.  I still have about flex points left (before my official dinner), so maybe 10 by tomorrow.  Didn’t take long to polish those off!  But before I eat those last 10 flex points, I’m going to force myself to stop and reflect on what they will mean for my sanity, and maybe, just maybe, I’ll make a decision I will be happy with tomorrow.

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Posted by on September 19, 2013 in Uncategorized


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